**Alanis Morissette_Lyrics to Song**

*(Epigraph seeds, not lyrics): "false starts" • "felt so much grief and
fear"* ([SELF](https://www.self.com/story/alanis-morissette))

Lyrics
**Verse 1**\
Between the first and second, we stopped, then started again,\
I kept the wish for three while bracing for the bend,\
Challenges gathered; miscarriages taught me to doubt,\
I said it out loud --- maybe it won't work out,\
Grief sat beside fear; we learned how to share,\
I carried both softly, like air I had to wear.

**Pre-Chorus**\
I chased and I prayed for a pregnancy to stay,\
Every step showing up, whatever the day.

**Chorus**\
We were chasing, showing up, through surprise and devastation,\
A little trust-light flickered in the rain's duration,\
Optimist with tears, but the light kept there,\
Small as a star I could hold in the air.

**Verse 2**\
I sent out investigations with all their reaching threads,\
Down every rabbit hole, through files an inch thick,\
Doctors laughed kindly at the weight of what I'd read,\
From self-help to scripts, to now --- brick by brick,\
Learning and loss braided tight with time,\
Persevering became the meter, the line.

**Bridge**\
Not the ideal path; one loss was a molar,\
The plan went sideways, the seasons grew slower,\
Still, that pilot light kept working in weather,\
Trust as a ember we guarded together.

**Outro**\
So I show up again, in the dark or the clear,\
Chasing, praying, holding space for the fear,\
If the downpour returns, I'll keep the flame near,\
A small steady signal: I'm still here.